Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
