i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
and you fell through a lawn chair
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize