ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
