sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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