East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
