Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Terrible idea I love it
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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