You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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