I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
