Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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