Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
