Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
