Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
smell my finger.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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