I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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