went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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