I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize