I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
