you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
After tacos, we're chasing women.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize