Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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