That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
