I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
