From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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