and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
