did you get engaged???
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
