I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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