Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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