ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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