Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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