So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize
