do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
