Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
