I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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