Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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