I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
