My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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