Kiss
Puke
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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