im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
