I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
