ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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