Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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