I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
