That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Randomize
