How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
