Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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