It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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