I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
