every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize