Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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