we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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