don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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