everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I wish i was in the wii world.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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