whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
