i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
splinters make it hard to masturbate
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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