When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
