Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
