I didn't shave. On purpose
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I'm both gender and math confused
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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