dude i'm inner monologue high
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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