jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
