smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
i need to put some appletini on your dick
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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