i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
